This is related to Julie’s previous post: Men are Visual.
[From Noel] Gentlemen, are you sitting down? Your wife is a verbal creature. I know this is hardly a surprise but men need to be constantly reminded that when our wives consider their environment they default to what they hear 99% of the time. What does that mean to you? It means you need to tell her you love her even if she already knows that. Tell her in very specific detail. And do it often.
It’s not that men are ignorant, or insensitive (at least not all the time). Men tend to communicate on a need to know basis. Many of us have made the mistake of assuming, “I told her I love her, just last week. I’ll keep her apprised if that changes.” Gentlemen, we need to love our wives better than that. For many women, spoken words are not just an information exchange, they are their most favourite expression of love.
It means you need to give this some thought and develop some opinions you’ve never developed before and reflect on some things that might never cross your mind otherwise. You need to have a favourite outfit that you love seeing your wife wearing and you need to tell her about it. You need to express very specifically how you thought about her today while you were at work. Tell her what you love about her skin. Tell her which pair of shoes are your favourite for her. Share these thoughts with her often.
Now, you need to tell the truth; I am not suggesting you mislead her or make stuff up. But you need to be reflective, deliberate and verbally generous. You might be saying to yourself, “I couldn’t tell you one thing about my wife’s shoes.” That’s probably why you’re in trouble so much. 🙂 You might say, “My wife doesn’t care about shoes,” and that may be true but I don’t know a single woman wouldn’t love to hear her husband say, “I love those shoes on you. They make your legs look great.” There is no way that will fail to put points on the board.
Why do all this extra talking? Because women love to hear their beloved talk. So save some words just for her. When you are intimate be verbally generous. Tell her what you like. Tell her how she makes you feel. Talk, talk, talk, and when you start feeling silly you’re getting close.