[From Julie] Our first response to the goal setting challenge is from Meg and her husband Jeff. They put together something that is very fitting for the stage of life they are in right now. I love that even though Jeff was a little apprehensive about what Meg was asking him to do, he jumped in and was willing to try once he heard what she had in mind. You guys put together a wonderful goal and I know you will enjoy it. It’s also a good idea for the rest of us. We hope that you two will fall even more in love with each other and end up exceeding your goal. So take it away Meg and Jeff.
When I first approached Jeff about setting a goal for our marriage, he got a look in his eyes like we were about to enter a minefield – and I can’t say I blame him. I understood what was behind the hesitation. We are comfortable in our relationship, so what was this “goal” going to do to us? Was it going to open a Pandora’s box of unknown feelings? Did we really want to make a personal goal known to others?
The thing is, we are actually quite comfortable in our relationship. After almost nine years together, we have learned each others moods pretty well. We have learned when to speak, and when to just listen. Most importantly, we have learned to let each other be ourselves and know that it is okay if we aren’t involved in every aspect of each others lives. Yet, while this all sounds great, there is a danger that lurks – there is such a thing as becoming too comfortable. Jeff works forty plus hours a week, we have two boys, I am busy with school, and we have to find time to be us. Just like every couple, we have to find time for us to just connect with each other. The most we usually manage is a phone call each morning at nine to each other that we have done since we started dating, and a couple hours at night after we put the boys to bed. And since we’re being honest here, those couple of hours usually end up with one of us falling asleep much earlier than the other one. Because of all of this, our goal came quite easily to us.
Our goal for 2012 is for us to have a date day once a month where we get to go out, flirt with each other, and just be. We know, this date might most likely consist of a hike through the woods, or a Dunkin’ Doughnuts coffee and a trip to Half Priced Books. But, that is okay, because as easy as this goal might sound to some, for us, it means we have to learn to say no to somethings; we are going to focus more on putting our relationship first.